Death, destruction, devastation, major life losses and deep disappointments can be extraordinarily painful and emotionally catastrophic. They hit everyone sometime in their lives, no one is immune.
What are the secrets to dealing with devastating difficulties well, to surviving and rebounding quickly and successfully?
Number One: Don't deny, dismiss or discount the pain you feel. Acknowledge the pain and wrap it in love. When you feel the pain, wrap it in love and give yourself a big hug.
Take some long, slow deep breaths and smile. Remember the good times, the many wonderful memories and blessings, cherish them, give them a big warm hug.
In your mind's eye, see yourself smiling bravely and confidently. Take another deep breath, wrap the pain in love. Wrap yourself in love and give yourself a big, warm mental hug.
Number Two: Action, activity and achievement are very helpful and healing. Get busy, be active, get to work. Jump into jobs or tasks that will improve your life or help someone else. Doing good helps us to feel good.
Focus on worthwhile projects and celebrate every success along the way no matter how small.
Be joyful in your work. Try to find happiness and be happy despite your losses and difficulties.
Happiness Is Helpful and Healing. It's very important to try to find happiness when we're facing major difficulties and life shattering losses.
We are at our best and able to do our best when we are UP, energized and happy. We are our most creative, confident and caring selves when we are happy.
People often discover new sources of happiness during difficult times. Simple things can become great sources of joy. A cool glass of water when when you're baking in the heat after a destructive hurricane can seem like a godsend. Savor the good things no matter how small.
Number Three: Consciously decide to change. Doing things differently and exploring new opportunities helps us to think, act and feel differently too. Conscious change helps cut painful connections with the past.
Major life losses always involve change. Something we love, cherish or rely on is missing or different. We've lost something that's very important to us.
Major Changes in our lives, in what we care about or in our life circumstances change us as well.
Change requires us to think and act differently, to organize our lives differently.
As we change we discover new things to value, enjoy and appreciate. Even the most difficult, shattering losses often provide new freedoms and new opportunities. Some losses even become unexpected doorways to our dreams.
Other times our major life losses are just pointless and tragic. The best we can do is to take our pain and direct it in positive ways to help and benefit others.
Misery always meant to make us move. Misery is a sign something is changing or needs to change. That means we need to change... change what we're doing, change how we feel about things or both.
One of the keys to happiness is to decide what you are going to do and then decide to find ways to enjoy it. The enthusiasm and energy necessary to complete tasks are just as important as having good plans.
Focus your time, energy and attention worthwhile activities that will help you recover, to succeed and be happy. That may mean taking pride in doing simple jobs extraordinarily well.
Revolt and rebellion also keys to happiness. Use a spirit of revolt and rebellion to drive your determination to succeed, to overcome distress and defeat, to protect your happiness and emotional well-being.
I'm Michele Moore CEO of Happiness Habit. I hope this will help bring greater happiness and spiritual success into your life despite difficult times.
For more insights on living a happy, spiritually successful life see HappinessHabit.com and Happiness InHardTimes.com
Copyright 1999-2008, Michele Moore. All Rights Reserved. This material may NOT be published, broadcast, redistributed or rewritten without permission from the authors. Explore HappinessHabit.com for more happiness insights.
Thanks for this blog, Michele. Am I allowed to add two points?
The first you hit upon referring to the cool glass of water - gratitude for the 'mundane' can make life a series of special moments and change your whole outlook.
The second point is that when we experience loss, some of us feel guilty when experiencing pleasant emotions. Let that guilt go!! We are here to experience joy. If something makes you belly laugh - let it rip. If you have a friend who makes you laugh, enjoy their company and let the laughter expedite your healing.
I'm sure a lot of people will gain from your post, Michele.
Posted by: Jacqueline Johns - Happy Life Mentor | December 31, 2008 at 06:14 PM